Last Week You Said That Men Are Trash and Now You Got a Man: Dismantling the patriarchy in a healthy and loving relationship

Your resident expert in f**kboy-ology got a man. Yup. You heard right. I left the life of sleeping diagonal and an unwaxed body for cuddles and emotional support.

And let me just say, it’s not that bad. Correction. It’s pretty great. I always have someone to go to the movies with, someone who listens to me bemoan the troubles of my day, and someone who ignites a fiery passion in me that is just too explicit to discuss on this blog.

If you’ve been following along with me on my dating journey, you will know that I have not had the best luck with men. I have a zero tolerance for the absolute f**kery that men (and those who uphold and support said f**kery of men) put us through.

I am a feminist in every sense of the word. A womanist truly. And the guys I’ve dated have not supported or been good representatives of my beliefs and values and as such, I’ve projected those past traumas onto potential boyfriends.

And that’s just not healthy at all.

Yeah, keeping a guard up at all times will keep you protected. But it doesn’t allow any opportunity to be truly loved by another person.

But let’s face it . The patriarchy is not in retrograde. And the performance of toxic masculinity is at an all time high.

So what does that mean for the dating scene?

Should you commit to a life of abstinence and lock yourself away in a tower waiting for an unproblematic Prince Charming?

No. Please don’t do that. That sounds depressing.

Continue to date and be open to love, but remember your worth. Be transparent about your values. And don’t sacrifice parts of  yourself because you think, “Well, damn. This is as good as it’s gonna get.”

There are men who have ditched their macho man facades and are comfortable in their own masculinity and are not threatened because you’re comfortable in your femininity.